News from the cold
God bless text messaging. God bless headphones.
If it wasn't for technology, I wouldn't have the possibility to be away without staying away. Therefore, I wouldn't have the scarce last drop of humanity that I still have. One day I heard about human credentials. Oddly enough, I sat and listened.
Human credentials are the few people that remain when you're in the cold contagious style for too long. They seldom complain. They don't give you a hard time. Most of them don't even understand what the hell you're doing with your life. The others that actually understand, just don't give a fuck. That's reasonable, let's face it. You get what you give and that goes without saying. But anyhow, human credentials are the ones that remain with you for whatever reasons (being cute and well-related is not one of them) and people look at them when they are with you, and go like: "how the hell is she/he with her? Someone so bla-blabla-blablabla with her...".
I've got some human credentials. But they don't seem enough to get my humanity back. I'm not polite anymore. I can't answer phones anymore. Social contact is increasingly becoming more difficult to play along. When your all-time best friend, who has been away uncontacted for almost 5 months and you can't even bother to pick up the phone when he calls, something's wrong. Something's really wrong. This cold contagious phase is spreading and my concept of having a good time is now being alone, away from social interaction. With few exceptions, because the world doesn't allow you to do it.
Don't i feel blessed for the ones I met? Yes, I do. Is it enough? No, it isn't.
I've chosen my path. The path of the sheep, fed by the illusion that you can balance things. I could choose a future different from your past. But now that I've turned my back to it all and the tables have turned, you ask yourself: what the fuck for?
This isn't what I signed up for. And certainly not for the dark place that it leads to.
By myself and unable to reach out. Maybe that's just another phase. So I get along blasting demons with my headphones and text messaging when I can find that will to reach out.
Awkwardly enough, since by now i should already be sick of myself, shouldn't I?
If it wasn't for technology, I wouldn't have the possibility to be away without staying away. Therefore, I wouldn't have the scarce last drop of humanity that I still have. One day I heard about human credentials. Oddly enough, I sat and listened.
Human credentials are the few people that remain when you're in the cold contagious style for too long. They seldom complain. They don't give you a hard time. Most of them don't even understand what the hell you're doing with your life. The others that actually understand, just don't give a fuck. That's reasonable, let's face it. You get what you give and that goes without saying. But anyhow, human credentials are the ones that remain with you for whatever reasons (being cute and well-related is not one of them) and people look at them when they are with you, and go like: "how the hell is she/he with her? Someone so bla-blabla-blablabla with her...".
I've got some human credentials. But they don't seem enough to get my humanity back. I'm not polite anymore. I can't answer phones anymore. Social contact is increasingly becoming more difficult to play along. When your all-time best friend, who has been away uncontacted for almost 5 months and you can't even bother to pick up the phone when he calls, something's wrong. Something's really wrong. This cold contagious phase is spreading and my concept of having a good time is now being alone, away from social interaction. With few exceptions, because the world doesn't allow you to do it.
Don't i feel blessed for the ones I met? Yes, I do. Is it enough? No, it isn't.
I've chosen my path. The path of the sheep, fed by the illusion that you can balance things. I could choose a future different from your past. But now that I've turned my back to it all and the tables have turned, you ask yourself: what the fuck for?
This isn't what I signed up for. And certainly not for the dark place that it leads to.
By myself and unable to reach out. Maybe that's just another phase. So I get along blasting demons with my headphones and text messaging when I can find that will to reach out.
Awkwardly enough, since by now i should already be sick of myself, shouldn't I?
The OST for this post is "Welcome to" by Ani DiFranco
it's quiet here except for this song
now that everybody's gone
but hey
(at) least you don't have to play along today...
posted by fiona bacana at 7:35 AM
2 Comments:
use your illusion while there's no balance... i wish things were not always black or white, all or nothing... hope it's just a phase, don't forget some spear batteries!
that's always the trick, "use your illusion". spear batteries on the way!
thanx for dropping by.
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